Patience is a choice and not something you have or don't have. By choosing to practice patience with Alzheimer's disease you're making a choice to be more peaceful and less stressed. M. J. Ryan in her book The Power of Patience, describes simple, everyday ways to practice being more patient in your life.
I interviewed a number of people whose family members had died with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. When asked what they would have done differently if they had a "do over", they all said, "be more patient." Not being patient enough, left them feeling sad and guilty about the time that they spent with their loved ones.
The good news is that patience is something that can be practiced and developed. In order to practice patience, you first need to identify when impatience is starting to surface. It often happens without a person even being consciously aware of it. I really experienced that when I started training my dog to do pet therapy work. I would start getting impatient and really didn't notice that I would tense up and get a knot in my stomach. The feelings were there, but I wasn't actually noticing it, even though I was putting off a certain "vibe". The point is that the feelings of impatience not only impacts us, but also those people around us. Amy Gross wrote a nice little article on the Oprah network, Patience is a Skill, which provides some basic suggestions of how to practice patience.
When it comes to Alzheimer's disease, our patience is usually tested for a couple of main reasons. The first one is the impact the disease has on the person. In these situations, it's important to remind yourself that it is the disease not the person that is to blame. The second one is time, and the more we identify with time the more impatient we will be. If you come at a situation from the perspective that you have all the time in the world, you will experience less impatience. I like the idea of symbolically leaving your watch at the door when you're with someone with Alzheimer's disease. Even if you only have a certain amount of time, be all there for the time that you have!
In my next post, we'll explore peace finding practices that provide valuable tools for responding to impatience and other uncomfortable feelings! What aspects of Alzheimer's disease result in your impatience? What helps you become more patient with Alzheimer's disease?
The most common early symptom of alzheimer's disease is difficulty in remembering recent events.No treatments stop or reverse its progression, though some may temporarily improve symptoms. Proper therapy and alzheimer's treatment may be helpful.
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